Decisions

Today or sometime soon I have to make a decision.

Not life threatening.

Not really important in the grand scheme of things.

But a decision all the same.

I have had this little part of the worldwide web now for some time. A couple of friends subscribe to this site but most viewings are from people who stumble on by or use a key word search on Blog-City.com.

Some even pass on the site if a post is interesting enough.

I post here about things that interest me or annoy me and I share them with the world. Well the world that chooses to find or read me.

Some posts here are linked to status messages on Facebook and some people there have asked to be allowed to read this little part of the world that is solely mine.

I have always refused to allow people I know personally face to face to have access to this site as I have always viewed this as being my diary.

There is one person...Mr Whoo...who I know face to face to have access to this site and that is because I trust that man with my life and what some would consider to be a dirty little secret.

My submissive nature.

Not even Kevin reads this site.

My children don't read this site.

In fact...*I* don't read this site either once an entry has been posted.

But I have been asked a couple of times by my now workmates if they can have access to this place.

I have been back to the very beginning of this Blog and have changed so much over the four years it's been running.

I have become a stronger person simply by allowing myself to be me.

I have left chat completely.

I have gone back to knitting in the evenings.

I spend time with absent friends on Facebook.

I have become a bit of a nagging crusader against the socialist monsters that govern my proud country.

I have been exploring cooking again.

I have discovered I have a real talent for photography.

I walked away from management and took a backward step workwise.

I have realised I am better at my job than my last manager thought I am.

But most importantly I still have my Man and my children.

I don't really have many of what I would call friends. I have plenty of mates, colleagues and acquaintances but no more new real friends.

I learned very quickly in my new job that people wanted parts of me for their own ends not mine.

I had already played the office politics game for long enough at Conduit to know when I am being played and as a simple phone agent I decided that I wanted nothing to do with the politics in a new office.

I have built myself a good reputation for being honest, open and blunt. But people know that I don't lie and that I always stand by my convictions and morals and always try to live my life with honesty and integrity.

I am 50 this year an so am unlikely to change much about myself.

I am not going to sit back and play the office pc games. People seem to like me for being that rough diamond amidst the swine.

I have been outspoken about people and to people and will not change nor compromise myself to fit what they think I should be.

I despise liars, cheats and arse lickers so those in the office who know what they are know well enough to stay away from me.

I have had two occasions now in which I have taken pride in doing what I know is right and standing by my own principles rather than side with someone and compromise them.

It is because of all those changes and the sameness that is me, that I hesitate to allow the one person I could trust to keep this site secret.

I don't want to compromise his friendship with me by allowing him to see deeper beneath the many layers that make me Anne.

There is much to think about here because once I give him access I cannot take it away.

There is however a way out as I run another site alongside this which is just an opinion site rather than my diary and I could copy much of the later posts here to that site and give him access.

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.